Lots of Spills and Sunshine

Lots of Spills and Sunshine

Monday, June 25, 2012


I reconnected with my birth dad on August 27 2011 and he has been a daily aspect of my life since. I needed it, he needed it and I feel blessed. When I reconnected with him I felt like a large portion of my heart had been filled. Through all the bull**** with the unnamed I was married too, through the heartache and pain he was there supporting me. He drove out on Saturday from Alberta to bring me a new vehicle and meet my munchkins, eat ice cream and laugh. He is in addition to my father who raised me and still loves me, I gained a whole family and see why I'm so quirky and read too many books, I wave my hands about when I talk like uncle Glen, I laugh like einie I talk too much I have crazy curls I take Metamucil three times a day and my chocolate almond addiction is generational. My kids loved every minute of getting to know a part of who I came from and aside from the car and financial support since August I have had consistent love and an emotional support that has truly helped me graduate and feel like its going to be ok. I am my words and I have so much I want to say to help me heal however I know that some will use my words as ammo and I won't give them that opportunity. I am a survivor not a victim my children are the strongest little people I know, they too are heroes in my eyes and will cone out if this storm with their heads held high. II had a heart to heart with my Rylie Dawn Alwyn tonight and as much as it hurts I look at her and know she will help so many in her time. She loves like no one I know and fights even harder. My Ty squeezes my hand three times to let me know he loves me and I return the squeezes. Noni brings us continual laughter and energy and Livie Lou is the most delicate Venus Fly Trap u have ever met! I am one blessed woman I have a career that I cherish four children who were sent to lift me up..... I am here and it is now and u will keep fighting for what I believe in and I will work my *** off to heal my cherubs and provide for their every need. I will spend too much money on skin care and snort when I laugh! I will eat gluten free( begrudgingly) and take the bloody garbage up the hill. I will teach my children that love is essential kindness will be given to everyone and judgement will be excluded from their vocabulary. I will most likely raise my voice too much and continually beg for more patience. I will work on becoming published and grow my hair so long you think I think I'm freaking Emily Bronte!!!


ColleenDown said...

Please, please, please let me be the first person to get to read your book!! I agree, often we are our words--and our pictures and I feel blessed to get to read your blog and see both!