Lots of Spills and Sunshine

Lots of Spills and Sunshine

Monday, March 31, 2014

Different strokes, flames, love

We light up the fire and run from the flame..... 

Music is lovely it sings to my soul...
I often find mysef nostalgic and sentimental past 2200.... 
My Rylie's  reading and in her first hunter/jumper show...
My Ty's cementing friendships and playing street hockey and helping me with his lazier siblings....
My Olivia's seeing clearly and eating cucumbers in bed...
My Oliver's adorable and working hard on flossing....
 Ty, Oliver and Olivia begin studying Andy Warhol  and Beatrix potter on Wednesday so excited!!! 
Today is a day... 
Tomorrow is tomorrow the only difference is a nights sleep and and a calendar sleep and what I choose to make of it 


The kids are into different strokes on Netflix it's so cute i love it!!!! 


Thursday, March 6, 2014

March 6 2012-2014

2 years ago 4 hours after this picture was taken and just shy of 46 minutes from right now I received the darkest news I could have ever imagined delivered to me by my sweet Rylie just 6 years old at the time. What happened in the following few hours were 911 calls, calling my three parents and crying deeper than imaginable. 
What began in the wake of tragedy was our new beginning of course I wasn't able to see any light in that moment only dark. 
I questioned humanity, the law, god, the universe and myself. 
For the past few nights I've had horrible nightmares and couldn't figure out why. Today during my drive to work it clicked " today's March 6th!!" Today's the day my daughter finally was able to say what happened today's the day our lives changed. 
2 years ago I was working 2 jobs and in nursing school full time and raising 4 kids on my own. Choosing between milk and yogurt, chicken or rice. Borrowing from Peter to pay Paul and pretty convinced I wasn't going to make it. 
I did, I made it. My kids made it. We are stronger, happier, wiser and where we need to be. 
A lot has happened a lot of amazing things. Rylie whose trauma prevented her from learning at school... Today she brought home amazing work from school, she's reading she's smiling she's growing, she's riding horses and truly god bless that horse he has given her more confidence and unconditional love than imagined. Dreamer will always be in my heart for the work he does with rylie and the best part he's just being a horse and she's just in love with him but together animals and confidence can heal. 
Ty is happy and smart and intuitive, he loves taking the lead and feels a strong sense of protection for me. He is so kind and gifted and he makes me proud each day. He too has overcome horrible acts and he too is my hero. Since his birth he has been such a loveable little boy, so happy and content. He vacuums when he sees me frazzled, makes his bed and writes me notes. He too has a love for animals especially cats. 
Oliver.. Oh Oliver how I love him. He makes us laugh each day he's bright like Ty and bless his heart can't remember more than one task :) he loves cuddles sleeping in his undies and his froggie stuffies. He does dance moves that will fill u with laughter and he has located every fruit snack hiding place in the house.
Sweet Olivia Lou.. She misses Louis and cries for him weekly. She wants to be a nurse like me and loves makeup. She has a daydreaming heart and wants to know why maple syrup is maple, why eggs are eggs and if she can make crepes. She drinks liquids super slow and always has. She has a teeny bum and most pants need extra elastic, she loves to layer her clothing and pack three stuffies to school each days. She prefers miracle whip to mayo and she's a doll with many strong opinions :) 

This picture was taken 1 month post horror. I am exhausted at the point this pic was taken I averaged 4 hrs a night of sleep. I saved up to buy them Easter outfits and felt lost. 
I successfully graduated nursing school and had a full time job before I wrote my exams... The light was coming, I could see past despair and started looking forward to our future. 
We started doing our special trips and will always continue to do it. I love this pic what u don't see is the 5 hrs a week of trauma therapy, burnt out mother and no way of paying bills. It's amazing how a picture can touch our hearts and yet we know so little about what's really going on. 
Today is march 6 2014 it is no longer  2012 and we are stronger, happier and more in love with one another than ever before. 

Monday, December 16, 2013

Often sometimes

Sometimes I think of life as I thought it "should" be often I wonder why do I think like that.....


Sometimes when it's 0300 and I'm on nurse/mum/Laundry /puke patrol I become overwhelmed that's its just me... Hauling mattresses into the tub to scrub.. 

Often I'm happy and smiling that despite all odds and stats were happy and well. Often I think wow Chelsea your doing it. 

Like that time we whisked off to Ucluelet I wore a hot mess of a Walmart masterpiece to hot tub in ( I forgot my swimsuit and Port Alberni had limited options) . Ty said " mum your still beautiful"  despite leopard print misplaced  hot shorts and a " top" that would make seagulls run.  Like the time I worked late and picked up overtime to pay for doctor assessments. 

Then there's sometimes when I think why? how? Can I do it? 

Then I remember the often and I crawl into bed with one or more munchkins that have snuck in, I use the tip of the pillow and curl up in a hockey blanket and or heart fuzzy one depending on who has crashed my bed. 

I wake up tackle lunches breakfast dressing brushing ( I could care less if they have tangles) matching socks are for .. Well not me.  drop off kids head to work and bam :) 

But despite it all, the lack of sleep the yearning for "alone time" I am blessed with four kids who are amazing people and they call me mum, they also yell and freak and hug and kiss. They are real little. Munchkins and I'm their mum and we all share five things in common: 
Kisses 
Love
The ability to yap your ear off
The love of learning
Cats!!! Cats are awesome and we will all testify to said fact! 







Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Just life

We, We each have circumstances that make  our lives unique. Uniquely tragic and uniquely beautiful. 


The times we feel vulnerable make us human.

I feel vulnerable quite frequently. Actually all of the time. At work at play at love.

It's not easy trying to piece and demonstrate, that being strong and feeling weak is normal.


I'm grateful and appreciative for my drive and my family. I'm so needing our upcoming Uuculet getaway. Storm watching, hot tub, comfort food,cuddles and toques.

Missing our Louis....


Sunday, September 22, 2013

My name is batty the logic is erratty

It's true I go batty for birthdays and make myself crazy prior to the event. This year for Rylies I was sick too :( 


I ask myself and I've been asked... 

So why do I spend days on the cake weeks planning the shin dig? I do it because there's four of them and one of me. Because I don't have the time in a day to give each of them every bit of attention they need. Between working full time and all that encompasses running a household of five I feel guilty. 

I do it because I always have and they talk about their cakes year round they google ideas, draw pictures, discuss amongst each other what they should choose for their next theme. 

I do it because its now tradition one I hope they bring to their own families one day. Even though they all reassure me they're not having kids :) 

Rylies self esteem weighs heavy on my heart for many reasons and today seeing her with her bestie and her sister made me smile. She felt like a big shot and loved the attention. 




Friday, September 20, 2013

Ty's 9 Rylies 8 Oliver and Olivia are in K!!

Well honestly August and September have been insane! Ty is 9, Rylie is 8, the twins are in K!!! The kids went to a garage sale up the street solo with the neighbours, I have had oodles of fun making lunches, my brakes ( on both vehicles) and tires have decided to go kaput! I'm having to switch my thinking from " why can't the other parent do what is right?!" To "no matter how tough ill figure it out and do what's right for my kids". Easier said than typed. 

I'm loving my new schedule weekends holidays and Wednesdays off its honestly like winning the jackpot for the kids and I.
Thank you mum and dad and Jeff for all you do! The childcare, the suppers, the hugs, the texts, the flowers, the gift cards, the unconditional love and for truly being there for us. We couldn't do it without you! 
I think the NyQuil has set in! Tomorrow it's manicures lunch and a birthday bash for my favourite 8 yr old most beautiful Rylie Dawn Alwyn:) 











Sunday, August 11, 2013

In my next 30 years

I'm gunna ..... 

1 be more patient 
2 eat more eggplant
3 kiss my kids more
4 say more kind words 
5 buy more art
6 go to Alberta more
7 eat more cheese 
8 study more art history 
9 go to law school 
10 enjoy diet dr pepper guilt free
11 visit Utah 
12 eat sugar cane 
13 watch a drive in movie 
14 use less FB 
15 own and love a Persian cat 
16 make baklava 
17 build a tree house
18 tummy tuck!!!!!!
19 kiss under mistle toe 
20 take my kids to Ireland 
21 visit Prince Edward Island 
22 write a book 
23 publish my book 
24 grow cucumbers and can pickles 
25 build a library with a ladder like in beauty and the beast 
26 go back to Hong Kong 
27 learn to quilt
28 be a better mum 
29 kiss a toad 
30 own a horse